D is for Decisions – April 2012 Blogging from A to Z Challenge

I hate decisions. I don't mean just the big ones like, should I leave one job and go to another (apparently better) one. Those I can work through logically even if, due to factors beyond my control, those decisions turn out not to be the best. I mean the day-to-day decisions. Unless I'm “in a mood for” something or someone requests something specific, I hate deciding what to make for dinner, what restaurant to go to (unless a Chinese buffet is an option), which brand and/or size of a product to buy, etc. . . . I rarely care what kind or color of furniture I have except that I want it to be comfortable and not too fussy, and overly ornate window dressings tend to irritate me. I don't even care what color a room is as long as it's not vile. I don't even care what kind or color my car is as long as it is reliable, not too much of an eyesore, and doesn't invite the police to stop me.

On a personal level, once I find a style of clothes I like, I'm prone to stick with them until they're woefully outdated. Even among those limited styles, my color palette is somewhat limited as I tend toward black, blues, and the occasional maroon or purple. Nor am I the type to fuss and worry about my hair – I believe that simple is best. Just cut it where I can comb it and go. I never learned how to do all the elaborate things that others do with their hair. This part is rather odd, as I grew up with a mother who loved to go to the hairdresser and my oldest sister is one of those “never a hair out of place” people. I honestly believe that she has shampooed her own hair far less times than she has had it shampooed by someone else. The frugal side of me rails about that type of primping.

I think I've always disliked decisions because I've always worried about how those decisions might affect others. I used to worry about every word I wrote lest I should offend someone. I even censored my own journals, when I wrote them, in case someone read them and was offended. Then, recently, I realized that most people really don't give a damn about what I say, and of the ones who do, most of them don't censor their opinions to avoid upsetting me.

This realization has made it easier for me to openly express my more “unpopular” views such as atheism and other topics on which I disagree with many people I know. I guess that means I don't dislike decisions so much any more.